Yes, that is pain. I'm really tired of the pain and suffering of this life. Some days I just want to give up on everything and everyone. How did Jesus do it, dying, being tortured, and suffering for our petty sins and selfishness? He was the God-man, though. That's how. Then we, selfish humans that we are treat one another with little regard. We are so full of ourselves, our own pettyness, that we disregard the feelings of others. We shamefully think of our own pain, our own supposed suffering without seeing the pain of the Cross, the pain of our neighbor, our friends, our family.
I shake my head in disbelief at the lack of caring, the behavior that eats away at our very souls. Pain is a vast feeling of nothingness, an endless, mindless chasm of tears and suffering. Maybe pain is like hell only its right here on earth, every day surrounding us, engulfing us.
Like a fire – it consumes us – destroying the very fabric of our souls. Crackling, spitting, scorching flames that suck the oxygen from us leaving us breathless and stunned.
Yes, that is pain. A violent brush fire that destroys and then leaves us with nothingness. The aching, the internal hollow feeling that lingers is wretched.
That is indeed the pain I've been feeling for some time now. It's inexplicable--yet somehow so tangible I can feel it, see it, touch it, smell it.
I apologize to my readers for this foray into the deep darkness of the human soul, because I know it's somewhere many dare not venture. Some hide in silence, while others hide in shadows, hoping no one will see their pain. I hide here in words on a blog that very few read. So, it's safe to say that my pain will remain virtually undiscovered. And, do not worry over me because the writing is a way through the pain. And, beyond all this there is a higher hope, a confident clarity and a purposeful journey ever pulling me upward.
I find it is interesting that tonight ushered in a full moon – so appropriate with all its connotations of disaster, predators hunting the weak and werewolves baying. Despite all the pain and suffering in this world, both physical and psychological, there is one thing that remains – I AM. The beginning and the end; Alpha & Omega.
"Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth." (Colossians 3:2)
"And so, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. And beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity." Colossians 3:12-14
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