Where Have All The Servants Gone?

"Do all things without grumbling or disputing; that you may prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world, . . . " (Phil. 2:14-15 NASB)

Three weeks since a hard crash into a rocky gravel driveway sent me into a comatose, dependent state of being. Not literally without consciousness, but figuratively it would seem.

It's been a state of grief - aloneness - and helplessness. And, it's also a wake-up call to the feelings I'm sure will surface when I'm 108 and can no longer feed myself or perhaps walk to the bathroom unassisted. It's a sobering thought - this growing older, tables turned topsy turvy.

One shining star, though, brought light and encouragement from a very unexpected place--one of my co-workers. This young man, born the year I graduated from high school, is a breath of fresh air in my workplace. In the two years I have known him, I have rarely seen him not grinning wide, full of exuberance for life. He's a former New Yorker from the Bronx with Midwestern ways it would seem.

His tattoed visage, rough language, and dubious past mask a servant heart that seems to know no bounds. He is a rare gem among the litter of this ugly world. And, while he's no church-goer, it doesn't matter because he lives the life of service. Paul writes in Philippians: "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others." (Phil. 2: 3, 4 NASB) That is his mantra.

The Saturday after I broke my arm, this young man called our company owner to get my phone number so he could "check up on me." Our owner's wife called me as well and their two calls meant so much to me--concern, love, honor.

Just about every day or so I receive the privilege of watching him in action--serving customers, helping out in some way and he continues to make it a point to ask me how I'm feeling. He blesses my soul.

Have you blessed someone's soul today? Taken time to smile? Shared a story or your heart with someone? Said "thank you"? Offered assistance? All it takes is a few simple lines in a text message, a phone call, or simply a smile to brighten this world and be a light in someone's darkness. You CAN make all the difference.

Why not try it?

Pain of This Earth - Things Above

Yes, that is pain. I'm really tired of the pain and suffering of this life. Some days I just want to give up on everything and everyone. How did Jesus do it, dying, being tortured, and suffering for our petty sins and selfishness? He was the God-man, though. That's how. Then we, selfish humans that we are treat one another with little regard. We are so full of ourselves, our own pettyness, that we disregard the feelings of others. We shamefully think of our own pain, our own supposed suffering without seeing the pain of the Cross, the pain of our neighbor, our friends, our family.

I shake my head in disbelief at the lack of caring, the behavior that eats away at our very souls. Pain is a vast feeling of nothingness, an endless, mindless chasm of tears and suffering. Maybe pain is like hell only its right here on earth, every day surrounding us, engulfing us.

Like a fire – it consumes us – destroying the very fabric of our souls. Crackling, spitting, scorching flames that suck the oxygen from us leaving us breathless and stunned.

Yes, that is pain. A violent brush fire that destroys and then leaves us with nothingness. The aching, the internal hollow feeling that lingers is wretched.

That is indeed the pain I've been feeling for some time now. It's inexplicable--yet somehow so tangible I can feel it, see it, touch it, smell it.

I apologize to my readers for this foray into the deep darkness of the human soul, because I know it's somewhere many dare not venture. Some hide in silence, while others hide in shadows, hoping no one will see their pain. I hide here in words on a blog that very few read. So, it's safe to say that my pain will remain virtually undiscovered. And, do not worry over me because the writing is a way through the pain. And, beyond all this there is a higher hope, a confident clarity and a purposeful journey ever pulling me upward.

I find it is interesting that tonight ushered in a full moon – so appropriate with all its connotations of disaster, predators hunting the weak and werewolves baying. Despite all the pain and suffering in this world, both physical and psychological, there is one thing that remains – I AM. The beginning and the end; Alpha & Omega.

"Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth." (Colossians 3:2)

"And so, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. And beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity." Colossians 3:12-14

Our Little Wise Owl

July 1, 1992, 2:32 a.m. Overland Park, KS Humana Hospital

A little sprite of a girl was born this morning 20 years ago. From the very beginning, I knew this one would be very special. Many times, the second child lives in the shadow of the older and I believe she did for a time.

But her own personality came out early one - a determined spirit, but one that above all is sensitive, loving and caring.

I can remember many times her coming home from school with stories to tell of classmates who had been wronged by another. She would grieve over their pain - and it wasn't something she could let go of very easily. Such a testimony to her caring spirit - her empathetic nature. And, her sense of moral justice. Quite an unusual characteristic for one so young.

My husband and I had this crazy idea to try to choose Irish names for our kids and when the second one came along, we debated over several different names - landing on Aubrey Shannon. Now for those of you who may know, the name Aubrey is not Irish (oops). No - its roots are Germanic/French and it means "blond ruler" or "king of the elves." At the time, we didn't even really look at the meaning too closely - we just liked the name. The middle name was a bit easier - (like the River Shannon in Ireland). It's origins are Irish and the meaning is "little wise owl."

But those who know her best know her independence and determination shine forth. There are "deep waters" within Aubrey that are yet to be tapped and I look forward to watching her continue to grow and develop as she now enters her 20s.

From early on, we suspected chocolate would be a large part of her life. And, that has definitely proved itself out as we have experienced first hand her love of pastry and baking.

The last five years, Aubrey has immersed herself in what she loves best - the hard work and joy of baking and culinary arts. Her creativity blossomed in this endeavor because she flourishes when she can work with her hands and create something new. She loves to try new things and her newest endeavors with raw desserts has been a joy to watch and be a part of.

So, Happy Birthday, Daughter #2! I am so blessed and honored that God chose me to be your Mom for a short time on this earth. I'm so thankful that our Heavenly Father has known and will know you for an eternity. Love ya!